Nafretiri didn't know what to believe anymore. She only knew that she had recently found out she was expecting, and she was frightened, alone, and unexpectedly free. She had no money and nowhere to go. and she'd tried to take shelter in a temple or two, but Sekhmet was too warlike and Isis- the goddess of motherhood- was also, ironically, the goddess of the dead.
Now, who would have thought that was possible? She supposed motherhood and death did go hand in hand. Look how close her own mother had come to dying at her birth! But it wasn't exactly a comforting thought to think about death when one wanted to live.
Not that Nafretiri actually thought she had that much to live for. Raising a child alone with no friends or family nearby would be nearly impossible, and the fact that she'd never have been able to marry if she had been able to go home to Judea meant that she would probably live with her horrible memories of the baby's conception for the rest of her life, with no romantic and tender experience, like she'd wanted before all this, to wipe them away.
No love...all because Hebrew men were raised to only want virgins. All because of a stupid book of laws that her father would say were mostly made up of the opinions of people who thought they were better than everyone else.
Her dreams- such as they could be in a society that was so restricted like Judea- were a lot to have been forced to give up. But still, a baby was something that would be hers when before she had had nothing. And maybe here in Egypt with time, she could regain the others. Love. A home of her own. Real friends. Acceptance. All of which, except from her father and cousins, she'd never really had. Maybe there were other things she could do, too, if she got established on the right foot. She'd always been good at the simple math her father had taught her. Maybe she could make healing potions and ointments. Those required measuring.
But now the night was cold and she had nothing warm on and she'd been walking all day, as she had ever since the day her former mistress had been informed about the baby. She was thirsty, too. Besides all that, it was dark down here, and the fact that the pyramids were used as tombs seemed scarier tonight, as if it was a night when all the spirits of the dead visited each other.
And El Shaddai had remained silent. He had not protected her. He had just let him.... She gulped.
Just like He'd also let her get kidnapped, in front of her father no less.
No love...all because Hebrew men were raised to only want virgins. All because of a stupid book of laws that her father would say were mostly made up of the opinions of people who thought they were better than everyone else.
Her dreams- such as they could be in a society that was so restricted like Judea- were a lot to have been forced to give up. But still, a baby was something that would be hers when before she had had nothing. And maybe here in Egypt with time, she could regain the others. Love. A home of her own. Real friends. Acceptance. All of which, except from her father and cousins, she'd never really had. Maybe there were other things she could do, too, if she got established on the right foot. She'd always been good at the simple math her father had taught her. Maybe she could make healing potions and ointments. Those required measuring.
But now the night was cold and she had nothing warm on and she'd been walking all day, as she had ever since the day her former mistress had been informed about the baby. She was thirsty, too. Besides all that, it was dark down here, and the fact that the pyramids were used as tombs seemed scarier tonight, as if it was a night when all the spirits of the dead visited each other.
And El Shaddai had remained silent. He had not protected her. He had just let him.... She gulped.
Just like He'd also let her get kidnapped, in front of her father no less.
Just like He'd made her a woman later than the few friends she had.
Just like He'd allowed the siege.
Were the gods of Egypt seemingly incompetent, too? As the wind whistled through the sand and she coughed violently, almost stopping the breathing process entirely, she fervently hoped not.
"Send someone... to help me out of this valley... please!" she wheezed at the sparkling stars. She coughed again and finally collapsed against a rock, unable to go further.
She didn't even know what god she was calling to. Isis and Sekhmet had frightened her badly, so she hoped it was neither of them who answered. But she wanted someone to.
Even just another human being.
"Send someone... to help me out of this valley... please!" she wheezed at the sparkling stars. She coughed again and finally collapsed against a rock, unable to go further.
She didn't even know what god she was calling to. Isis and Sekhmet had frightened her badly, so she hoped it was neither of them who answered. But she wanted someone to.
Even just another human being.